I want to talk about love. What is it and why does it matter? I’ll start with what it is. Love—a word that expresses our deepest feelings, a range of emotions that defy time and space. It’s both a puzzle and a universal reality, part of the essence of our being. I liked this definition. It doesn’t fully capture what love is, but it gives me a sense of what it is. Love means that you have to discover it in your heart and soul. And then share it with others so they can understand what love is about. The feeling that makes you happy. That puts you where you belong. It gives you value, and shows others that they have value. This is how love should work. (I might be missing something, but it’s 5:30 as I write this, not in order.) This is what it means to me.

I only realized what love meant to me recently. In the relationships I’ve had, I thought I knew what love is, how I felt. But I didn’t have a complete comprehension of it. Love can be hard. With age, comes wisdom. Does this mean I know exactly what it means to everyone. That’s a big NO. I just know how I feel about it. Love can be hard. There are people I don’t like very much. I won’t say that I HATE those people, but there is only one of those in my life. I won’t name any names here. If you’re reading this blog, it’s not you. I will dislike a person if they hurt others. People that attack you for your beliefs (if your beliefs are not harmful). Those that abuse animals. Those that put themselves above others. I’m sure I’m forgetting something, but it’s 4:30 am and my brain is mushy.

As I’ve said, I’ve had many relationships. Those relationships didn’t work out. Most of those relationships I ruined. Some I let die. Some I just walked away from. All of those relationships, those people I loved, even if they think I didn’t. I think that’s what brought me to this point in my life. I have a better understanding of who I am.

In the last post I said I was down. That I felt sad. Why did I feel depressed I have no idea. It’s because of the cancer and nothing bad had happened, I just felt weighed down by myself and that nothing was good about me. I thought people were avoiding me. I felt like people looked down on me. I felt like a burden to those close to me. Depression lies to you and fills your head with rubbish. Anxiety does too. It just leads you down a path that changes how you see things. They both are a shadow that follows you, always so close. It just happens to be something that I need to learn to deal with through therapy and medication. It’s a constant battle…EVERYDAY.

Now on to the love part of me. I have met people that made me see the truth. How precious those I have chosen to be with. To have in my life. Most of my friends around me all the time, I feel a deep sense of commitment. I love them for being by my side, for taking care of me and for just being there to talk with. It makes me feel safe. I have friends that are not in my life every day either by distance or because life gets busy. They are supportive and help me see things in different ways. All these people are family to me. I love them all immensely. Each one of them contributes something to my overall well-being. They are my tribe, my clan and my circle. I hope I do that same for them in someway and I’m pretty sure I do.

Recently I have added to my family. We connected on so many levels and it feels like I have known them all my life. To me this is a spiritual thing. Something I feel in my soul. I am happy they have come into my life. They add far more than I can explain. I want them to know that they are amazing to make space for me in their lives.

This takes nothing away from all the others that have been with me for a long time. You guys rock and I owe you, my love. To my wife, I want to thank you for everything you do for me. I would be nothing without you. To the people I was in a romantic relationship, I think about you from time to time and I want thank you. Even though it didn’t work between us, you are thought of fondly. To the friends I see on a regular basis, you give so much and don’t ask for anything back. To my friends that are far or not here all the time, you hold a special place in my heart and in my head. To all my relatives, even though we don’t talk often, or it has been a long time, the memories I have bring me joy. Just know that I miss you everyday. To everyone, I LOVE YOU. I wish I could tell every one of you this face to face. I LOVE YOU.

I will be back soon with my thoughts, rants and raves. Until then;

Why did the bicycle fall in love?

Because it was two-tired! 🚲❤️

Remember, love can be as whimsical as a bicycle ride—sometimes wobbly, sometimes exhilarating, but always an adventure! 😄🌟